This old chestnut came back to haunt me recently in a complex multi-party mediation of an inheritance dispute.
We mediators know all too well that inheritance disputes are some of the most difficult cases to mediate. They are intensely personal. Joint sessions are almost always impossible. When the disputants are in the grip of powerful, sometimes uncontrollable emotions it is incumbent on their lawyers to support them and nurse them through the day. It is equally incumbent on the lawyers to allow the mediator to do his or her job.
The last thing everybody needs is a lawyer with an ego.
Full disclosure: I’m a barrister. But I flipped to the bar 6 years ago. For most of my career I was a solicitor, so I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Years ago I witnessed in plenary sessions the often tiresome addresses delivered by counsel, parroting their position statements with sonorous solemnity. In fairness it wasn’t entirely their fault. An understanding of the very different kind of advocacy needed in mediations was in its infancy. Barristers were doing what they were trained to do: fight their client’s corner. As hired guns they thought they were there to be seen to perform. In private session they sat at the head of the table, dominating the room and the direction of discussion. They carried their adversarial genes into mediations and sometimes made things worse.
These days things are completely different. The modern Bar has a far better understanding of the special requirements of client representation in mediations. I almost never come across a barrister who does not add value to the process. But occasionally it happens: on entering a private room I’m sucked through a wormhole, transported back to the 1990s and confronted by that relic: the pin-striped three piece suit. And all that it typically contains.
Communication; collaboration; co-operation. These are needed in spades in difficult mediations. If the disputants are too wrapped up in their own emotions then it is down to their representatives to step up and practice the Three Cs on their clients’ behalf. That includes the way in which they engage with the mediator, who is only as effective as he or she is allowed to be.
A few suggestions, for both solicitors and barristers:
I am direct and straightforward in my communications, but I am also friendly and I listen very carefully. Anything said to me in private session is said with my guarantee that it stays in your room unless you authorise me to share it. You can trust my professionalism so please let me do my job. Your client is paying for it. If someone is behaving in a way which I consider to be detrimental to the process then I’m certainly not afraid to challenge them. I expect everybody to act in accordance with the spirit of the process.
Finally, a word of advice for solicitors when choosing counsel to attend mediation. Choose carefully. Choose an excellent communicator. Choose someone with a sense of humour. It makes everything so much easier.
It would be great to get some feedback on your experiences, as fellow mediators, barristers and solicitors. Feel free to post your comments.
Please feel free to contact me for a no-obligation initial chat.
Email: alistair@pye-resolve.com
Phone: +44 (0) 300 1245545
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